She Will Be Loved
by hideousbeauty
Summary: So, watch as I turn Quinn into a New York stripper.
1. New York City

"I could lie through my teeth.

Say I never missed you.

Say I didn't want you.

Say I fell out of love when we were over.

I could close my eyes.

And say I didn't see your smile everytime I did.

Say things just went dark like normal.

Say my lids weren't just holding back tears.

I could smile if I wanted to.

Say everything was fine.

Say things were going to go back to how it was before.

Say I'd be focusing on me, my future.

I could pretend.

Say I never had dreams of you.

Say I never pictured our future.

Say I didn't see our kids, our wedding.

I could go on.

Living half- alive.

Breathing although it hurt my lungs.

Smiling though tears burned my eyes, stung my cheeks.

But, baby…

Please…

Please, don't make me.

Let me back into your world.

Let me hold you in my arms again.

Let this not be the last time I call you mine.

Let this not be the last time I see you before I leave."

She crumpled the letter she had found at her doorstep when she had finally gotten home. Some part inside of her knew this had all started because of her, what she had decided to do with her life. She threw her keys on the bed as she walked into the bedroom of her small hotel room. She couldn't make anyone who she told understand that she did what she had to to get by. She couldn't make anyone understand that not everyone's dreams come true in New York, not everyone had the talent to go as far as others. Everyone she had come here with had made it, they were living their dreams. She sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and stared at the piece of paper, tears beginning to gather at the corners of her eyes. She had just fallen short of what she hoped.

It was time she learned the hard way that looks really don't get you as far in the real world.

Her cord phone rang from its place on the kitchen counter. She jumped up, using one hand to wipe her eyes and the other to gently lay the letter on the bedside table, and swiftly made her way over to pick up.

"Hello?" Her voice was weaker than she had expected it to come out.

"Miss Fabray?" The man's voice that came over was the familiar, nasal- filled voice of the hotel manager. "I hope you're not getting sick. Who am I going to get to fill in for you to carry those bags? That's no pay for you either until you're fully recovered. Can't have you getting guests sick."

"No sir! I'm fine really!" She cleared her throat and tried to sound as perky as possible.

"Well… That's good then, I guess. Well? Why aren't you already down here in uniform then?" And with that he hung up.

Quinn sighed a rather heavy sigh. She made her way back into her bedroom and picked up the letter. She read over it one more time before folding it back up and putting it back into its envelope. She slid it into the bedside table's only drawer.

Pulling off her cream colored tank top covered in sweat from the night before and stepping out of her liquor splashed shorts, she looked at herself in the floor- length mirror on her closet door. Her bare chest seemed to be showing more ribs than she was used to. Her G- string underwear looked unfamiliar as she stared at this person she had become since moving here. She sighed again and pulled her now long again hair into a bun on top of her head. She walked into her bathroom, shivering slightly as the cool floor touched her bare feet. She splashed water on her face from the bathroom sink and looked up to stare at the bags that were now sitting there, ugly under her once bright, green eyes.

After changing into her uniform, she trudged her way down to the elevator. As she passed by the room five doors down from her own, she debated stopping by to see if he was still there, but she decided with the noises coming from the other side of the door escalating to lower her fist and keep walking. Some people really don't change from high school. Then again.. Here she was doing everything she never thought she would have even been capable of, and he had a record deal- still sleeping with every girl under the sun or not.

The day was the same as any other. No sleep from the night before. Smiling a fake smile to every bitch or ass- hole that walked through the front door. Carrying heavy bags up multiple flights of stairs in an itchy, puke green bellboy uniform she was forced to wear even in the hot summer times like these when people seemed to have more bags and park further and further away. And always never enough tips to even pay for a decent dinner that night.

As she carried the endless amount of bags though out the motel, she thought about what she had seen in the mirror, what she had become. She came here with a group of friends from high school, each with his or her own dreams. Hers was simply to get out of the hell hole that was Lima, Ohio. She had thought that, maybe, with her looks, she could go to a few auditions here and there for this and that. Maybe try for a photo shoot to be one of the beautiful models that were on every billboard. But no matter what she tried, who she got in contact with, there was just no work for her here. That's when she starting running low on money. She finally found the motel, Motel Sunset 68, which offered a discount for employees. There it was, a job and a place to stay- no matter how small, dank, and nasty. But pretty soon, the money wasn't enough- not with rent and food. She had tried to find more work, but her luck had all but run out. When finally she came across a man looking for directions, said she looked like the kind of girl that would work there. After being appalled by the idea of being mistaken for a girl like that, she had run out of all options and decided what could she do but look into it? Thankfully they had just fired four girls that were found with illegal drugs, so they were tight on help and hired her on the spot. That's how she got the job that gave her all her money. When they asked what stage name she going to go by, she didn't have to think before replying. She became Star.

Her alias was everything she never could be on her own- confident, sexy, and rolling in money. Everytime she put on the glittering make up and costume, or lack there of, she became a new, fierce woman who had men and women alike eating out of the palm of her hand.

At this point, things were going great. Star was bringing in money, she could tell her friends about her daytime job which was "just until she got on her feet", and she was about to celebrate two years of being with the one person she had ever really and truly been in love with. The inspiration of her alias. The inspiration of her dreams.. Her Rachel.


	2. Her Rachel

Her Rachel. How different it had felt to say at first. Not weird. Just different. Again, it was something that she had never seen herself doing. Throughout the time that they had known each other, Quinn had always had mixed feelings about the dynamic, brunette starlet. At first, hating her for trying to take Finn from her and away from the football team by encouraging him to stay with the glee club at McKinley. Then not- so- hating her because she realized just how sweet Rachek could really be, even after all of the torturing coming from her fellow glee club members, not to mention the rest of the high school- everyone stomping on her dreams and self- esteem. Of course, that's what Quinn wanted- for the most part. The meaner she could act toward Rachel, the more clear she could have at least seemed to everyone else, including Rachel. But of course, appearing a certain way.. Didn't make it so.

Through the times they interacted during high school, Quinn's feelings became foggier and foggier to herself. She began to picture herself and Rachel as friends and then as more. These feeling more scared her then reassured her of anything between the two. None of it even had to matter, because Rachel wasn't "like that" and even if she was, her and Kurt were moving to New York after graduation.

Two months before they were supposed to be leaving.. Finn asked Rachel to marry him.. He told Quinn right after he had asked and that he was waiting on Rachel's decision. Quinn tried to be happy that everyone could finally be happy, but there was a jealous side of her that was not only upset by the fact that she was being left alone in Lima, but also because right before she was going to tell Rachel how she really felt, after debates and fights with herself; going over and over the consequences and worst- case- scenerios, Rachel informed her that she had said "yes" to Finn.

They were to get married in New York as soon as they arrived. It was to be a small wedding, only the glee club was going to be invited to come, plus Finn's parents and Rachel's dads. Rachel even asked Quinn to come over and stay one night to help her plan color designs and seating arrangements.

"Why am I even here?" Quinn had asked that night, throwing down the chart planning out where all of the tables and chair were going so they could start the seating arrangements.

"To help me..?" Rachel had that adorable, innocent, confused look on her face that held a hint of hurt in it. "Quinn, what's wrong? Did I do something?"

She blamed herself. Tears welled up in Quinn's eyes. She couldn't stand the fact that she was making Rachel feel bad about something she didn't even know she was doing, but she also couldn't stand helping the girl she had just recently realized that she was in love with plan a wedding to a different person. "I…" Quinn started. Their eyes had met. "I just don't see why I should be helping you with your wedding planning, Berry." She tried to mask her feelings with her go- to "bitch" attitude.

"I thought we were past this, Quinn?" Rachel looked hurt. "I thought we were friends… I was actually about to ask if you wanted to be my maid- of- honor?" She looked up at Quinn and smiled, a single tear falling from her almond- shaped eye.

Quinn couldn't stand it. She started to cry, unable to answer Rachel. She stood up and started to walk toward Rachel's bedroom door.

Rachel stood from the bed, stepping between Quinn and the door. "Quinn? Please tell me what I did so that I can fix it? Please?" She rested her hands on the blonde's arms.

Quinn smiled. "Don't you get it?" She smiled down at the shorted girl, her face turning red from the crying. Rachel shook her head slightly, and Quinn laughed a little at it. She laid her hands on Rachel's shoulders. "I don't want to help you plan your wedding, Rachel."

"But I-"

Quinn held a finger up to Rachel's lips. "I wanna be helping you plan our wedding." She planted a single kiss on Rachel's full lips before walking out the door and out of the house, leaving the other girl completely confused in a daze. Quinn walked slowly out to her car, half- hoping Rachel would follow and half- hoping to never be seen again. She got in her car and began to drive away. Where to? She had no idea. She just cried the whole time…

What had she been thinking? What was to think now? The one fear she had- losing Rachel in every way possible- she risked for one unexpected kiss…

As it began to rain, a small ding came from the cup holder of her car- a text message.

At first she didn't want to read it, but assuming it was her mom, Quinn reached for her phone.

Quinn? Why did you leave?

Just like Rachel to spell and punctuate everything correctly in a text. Quinn smiled through her tears.

i figured u wouldnt want me to stay after.. that

She took in a deep breath and held it until the next small ring.

Come back?

Quinn couldn't help but to smile.

five minutes

By the time that Quinn pulled back into Rachel's driveway, she had already been trying to come up with as many possible ways to explain what had happened. There wasn't a single explanation that made sense. She finally decided to just walk in and stand there and let Rachel be the first to speak.

Quinn slowly began to knock on the door. She smiled when it opened as quickly as it did. At first, they stood there for a few seconds, before the most adorable face came across Rachel's face.

"Oh my goodness! Come in!" Rachel grabbed for Quinn's hand. "You're soaked!"

Quinn frowned remembering this night. She sat down on the edge of her bed after the long day of heavy suitcases. She propped her elbows on her knees and laid her head in her hands. Now in a black tank top that showed off just enough cleavage and a pair of black denim shorts, she sighed heavily remembering the passionate night that had followed the rainy day and at first awkward silence and then slow love confessions. A tear fell from on of Quinn's jade eyes. Frustrated- with the tear? or with herself?- she quickly and roughly wiped the tear away.

She sighed again and forced herself to stand up. Walking into the bathroom, she remembered the letter. Rachel did want to talk to her… Wanted to fix things even… But after the fight of Rachel finding out about Quinn's late- night job from someone else, Quinn just couldn't wrap her mind around them finding a solution; she also knew that even if there were a way to fix things between them, it would almost certainly involve Quinn quitting her job, which although she would normally gladly do, she wasn't about to let Rachel support both of their lifestyles with no contribution. Quinn was still looking to find other jobs of course, but there were just none to be found for her.

As she applied her make up for the night, she though about Finn. Finn- who she had been dating, then Rachel, then her again, then Rachel again. Finn- who she had ultimately stolen his bride from.. Finn- who was probably in Ohio right now just as broken as she was.

She sighed and physically shook off the thoughts from the night. It was Star's time to shine, and although her namesake was on Quinn's mind, she had nothing to do with anything or anyone from McKinley or Ohio- especially a one Rachel Berry who would love nothing more than for Star to stop existing. No, the nights were all Star's, and she wasn't about to ruin her make up with the sad thoughts that now came with the old happy ones. It was time to make new ones- starting with enough money to get out of this hell hole, no matter what it took.


	3. Star

Glittering, gold eye shadow and heavy, black eye liner made her soft, green eyes pop. The gold stars that covered her nipples were all that she had on for a top to make the gold, ass- less chaps she had on really noticeable, even if you were just walking in. The bright spotlights hit all of the glitter in her costume just right. She smiled a brilliant smile out at her audience as she took to the stage. She knew that she was the reason for a lot of the people that had come to even be there. She leaned against the pole at the end of the catwalk- like stage with one leg wrapped around it. Wolf whistles and cheer erupted from the mostly male audience and a few single dollar bills floated down around her feet. As she bent to pick up a few up, she slowly came up, staring into a few people's eyes, her sexy smile never leaving her face. One man spilled his drink on the stage, and she took it as an opportunity to lie down in it and get her chaps soaked. This of course got the result she wanted- more cheers from the crowd. One of the women in the audience pulled her bra out of her shirt and threw it on stage. She grinned a sly look and picked the bra up in her teeth before throwing it back into the crowd. More cheers, more dollar bills.

Things like this went on for awhile longer, almost two hours. Every time she went to leave, the crown yelled and she would come back for more. Leave again, this time for a little bit longer- teasing the crowd some- before again giving them what they wanted. The last time coming out without her stars on. This, of course, earned more cheers and in turn more money.

She looked up and out the windows of the small building that was now clearing out more; the sun was starting to rise. She sighed and simply walked off stage, the crowd still begging for more. She made her way behind the curtains and into the dressing room. She pulled out some baby wipes and cleaned the layers of glitter, make up, and sweat off of her face. She sighed and changed into a different pair of denim shorts and a light blue tank top. Quinn.

She trudged back down the streets as they began to fill up for the day, thankful that she had an off day for the day. She couldn't help but drag her feet as every muscle in her body cried for a day spent in bed.

As she stepped out of the elevator onto her floor, a familiar… friend?... stepped out of his motel room that he had on permanent reserve. She didn't have time to think about the options of just walking past or stopping to say "hello" to the boy she hadn't really talked to since the group trip up here all that time ago before he turned the key in his door and looked up to walk toward the elevator.

"Quinn." He smiled a full- toothed smile. "How ya been?" He walked toward her some.

"Hello , Puck." She managed a smile, meeting him half- way. "I'm…managing. How have you been?"

"Pretty great." He wrapped one arm around her thin shoulders. "You look good." He sniffed at her hair. "Oh, wow. You smell like a bar." He chuckled some.

"Yeah." She tried to lightly laugh it off, not knowing exactly what a good reason for her odor would be. "Well… I guess I'll be seeing you, Puck."

"Quinn…?" He grabbed her hand as she tried to leave. "Is something wrong?"

Tears started to fill her eyes.

"Whoa. Okay, come in. Okay? Let's talk." He went to unlock his door again.

"No, I'm fine," she wiped at her eyes and tried to pass with a weak half- smile.

"Yeah, no. Come on in." He got the door open and half- shoved her inside. "Come on, tell me what's up."

"I'm sure you have things to do, Puck…"

"I always have time for you, little Quinnie," he smiled again. "Do you want something to drink or something?"

"Wow… You sure have grown up, Puck. No offense." She gave a small smile.

"No, totally. I get that. Gotta keep up an image now, ya know?" He grinned and handed her a glass of water that she never actually said she wanted. "So… Lay stuff on me, Fabray."

She took a sip. "I don't wanna bore you with my troubles, Noah…" She said sincerely, lowering her eyes to her hands.

He kicked back in the chair across from the one she had sat in. "Quinn. From the beginning. Let the new Noah Puckerman hear your problems and help ya out as much as he can."

She smiled. "…The beginning…?"

When Quinn first met Rachel, she hated her. Not really, she guessed, but she had to act it. She was the head cheerleader and Rachel was… Rachel. There really was no other way to describe Rachel. Everyone who knew her knew exactly what that meant. Rachel was confident, sure, but it was more than that. She was far more cultural and intelligent for anyone else their age. She knew what she wanted out of life, and she knew that no matter what it took, no matter what others said or thought about her, she wasn't going to let it get in the way of her dreams. But with the way she dressed, the way she was in everyone else's lives, whether she really thought she was helping or not, she was the stereo- typical girl whose life the cheerleaders had to make a living hell.

But over the years, her self- confidence, self- absorption, and everything else about her became a charm to everyone around her. Quinn smiled now thinking about Rachel and how adorable she got when she began to babble about anything she knew about, or even really when she did anything anymore.

Eventually, things between Quinn and Rachel became… not a friendship… but more like sexual, unresolved tension every time they were even in the same room together. Quinn noticed, she still wasn't sure if Rachel had ever noticed, how they were physically drawn together- at one point toward the beginning it was them always seeming to get as close as possible as they could to each other without others noticing, little nonchalant touches here and there, and then later on it was touching during songs and finding more excuses to bump arms in the hallway or during glee. She even began to provoke their little fights in the hallways and such just for a chance to be close and talk to Rachel Berry.

During this period, of course, there were things to do with Finn. The constant indecision he carried with him everywhere about every little thing became more than a pain in Quinn's ass. Then there was Puck… Who not only was her baby's biological father, but then had tried to date Rachel as well, claiming it was because they were both Jews. Then there was when Rachel had found out about Puck being the father and running to tell Finn as to break him and Quinn up, claiming so that she could date him. Then there was Jesse St. James- Quinn's, and everyone else's, least favorite of Rachel's so- called- boyfriends. There was so much drama brought with him, Quinn didn't even want to relive it all. Then Quinn had tried to date Sam, which led to cheating on him, and eventually back to Finn. Finn- who ended up leaving her after Coach Slyvester's sister's funeral, of all times. And then after all of this, was the trip to New York- the first time, with the glee club. While they were here, Quinn had a break down. About what she couldn't even recall right now, but she was certain it had to do with Finn being all over and about Rachel. Then the kiss on stage… But somehow and for some unknown reason, Rachel refused him- until they got back home that is. And after that… Rachel wasn't single again. She and Finn stuck it out through everything, even winning Nationals the next year.

Quinn sighed. That's when it happened. Finn Hudson's proposal. Rachel told her later that it had been simple. No one else was around. Finn, being the unromantic piece of boy- stuck- in- a- semi- man's body that he was, didn't seem like he had rehearsed or even knew which end of the box to open. He didn't even get down on one knee. She had said "yes" because she had felt like it was the right thing to do.

But the thing that most shocked Quinn about Rachel's acceptance in the proposal was that when Finn asked her to stay in Lima, Ohio and give up her New York dreams, she had said "yes" to that also.

The day after she and Rachel had talked everything out, Quinn saw Finn in the hallway at school. She tried to walk by, but she couldn't control the anger welling up inside of her. "How could you have even asked that? Let alone let her say 'yes' to it?" Quinn had pushed the lanky football player against some nearby lockers- the only reason why it actually worked was because she had caught him off guard.

"What are you talking about?" He tried to get in her face without making a huge scene in the hallway.

"You asked her to not go to New York?" Quinn put her hands on her hips.

"Oh, that?" He shrugged, "Yeah, I mean… Why go when we can just stay here and raise a family? That's a lot of money and a lot of 'ifs'. If she makes it through college- which is a lot of money. If she ever even gets on stage. I just don't see what the point would be in making that kind of sacrifice when we can just stay here and be happy."

"When." She shot as much venom as she could into the word. "When she makes it through college and when she makes it on stage. You've got to have at least one brain cell in that thick skull of yours and right about now, it should be screaming at you just how stupid you are."

"Hey! This doesn't even have anything to do with you, Quinn. Not the last time I checked. What do you care if we stay here forever? Never leave this town?"

"I couldn't care less if you never even graduated. You're a Lima Loser. She, on the other hand, has dreams, and she can make them come true. Do not take away her only chance to do what she really loves because you never had any dreams of your own. That would have worked with me. I was ready to stay here with you and live out a dull life, as long as you could provide for your family-"

He cut her off. "So that's what this is all about, huh? You, you, you, you, you! God, Quinn, do you ever stop to think about anyone other than yourself? Rachel and I are engaged! That means any chance you had with me is over. Grow up out of this stupid teen girl obsession you have with ruining other people's lives to make yourself happy." He went to walk away.

She slapped him across the face as hard as she could. He stood there staring at her. "That's where you're wrong, Finn. I'm not doing this for myself. Sure, I could have lived my life out here with you, but thank God I don't have to. Rachel, on the other hand, is not me. She's already a star, and I would much rather your perfect, little fantasy come crashing to the ground then for her to burn out for some loser like Finn Hudson." She twirled on her heel to walk away when she stopped suddenly.

Rachel was standing there holding her books against her chest in silence, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Rachel, I-" Quinn stared at her as she and Finn spoke simultaneously.

"Quinn… Finn and I need to talk, please. Alone." The brunette spoke slowly.

Quinn nodded and began to walk away. As she did, she began to cry…


	4. Gotta Do What It Takes

Quinn wouldn't find out what happened exactly for another few days, and until then she was forced to sit in her room alone and wonder what exactly Rachel heard and what she felt about it. Quinn couldn't believe she could have been so stupid. It was bad enough telling Rachel all that she had already, and then with the night that followed…

"Quinn… Why hadn't you ever told me before?" Rachel had brought them back into her room. When Quinn's response was nothing but a shiver, Rachel realized that the blonde's clothes were drenched in rain. "Oh! You're soaking!" Quinn's eyes widened and she was about to speak when she realized what Rachel had meant. "Let me get you something else to wear while I dry your clothes downstairs. She began to pull Quinn's shirt off for her without thinking.

When Quinn was left standing there in nothing but her blue jeans, Rachel stopped. She stared at Quinn for a second, her eyes trailing from Quinn's bare breasts, to her chest moving up and down slowly with her breathing, to her little gold cross necklace, and finally to her eyes. "I…"

Quinn showed no emotion but slight fear in her eyes as she stepped closer to Rachel. Instinctively, Rachel backed up until she lightly hit the wall. Her breathing became quicker as something unknown took over the taller girl. Quinn wrapped her left arm around the diva's small waist and rested her right hand on the wall above Rachel's head. Rachel's hands were pushed against Quinn's chest, which she didn't fully realize until her fingers trailed across the necklace.

"Quinn, I-" Rachel was silenced by Quinn's lips firmly pressing against her own. She gulped as the blonde kissed down her jaw and onto her neck, stopping at the pulse. She couldn't help a small moan that escaped her lips as she felt something she had never felt when anyone else had ever kissed her.

There was silence as the blonde lifted the animal sweater off the smaller girl and pulled it off her head. There was silence as Quinn proceeded to cup the diva's bare breasts in her hands and press her lips against the other girl's again, only softer this time. Quinn slowly lifted the smaller girl up and carried her gently to the bed, their foreheads resting on the other's. Quinn softly laid Rachel across the bed, her right hand slowly trailing up Rachel's thigh and up under her skirt.

A tear streamed down Quinn's cheek as she sat in her room thinking about how she had turned Rachel into a cheater, and how she had all but stolen the younger girl's virginity.

She spent that weekend pacing around her room, waiting for her phone to ring with a call or text or something. She checked her computer periodically for an email or something from Rachel to let her know what was going on. She debated multiple times to send the first text, but who was she to be told what was going on. She cried herself to sleep every night after realizing that Rachel was probably never going to tell her what happened because, frankly, it was none of her business what happened in their relationship, and she knew it.

All weekend, she heard nothing from anyone.

Monday came along, and Rachel and Finn weren't at school. Quinn sat through her classes that she normally would have spent at least staring at Rachel alone, barely paying any attention to what the teachers had to say.

It was finally during glee that she finally received any sort of message on her phone.

Quinn, are you at school?

It was Rachel. Quinn started to cry, not caring who saw anymore, as she let out a heavy breath and began to text back.

Yeah why arent you

It felt like ages before her phone buzzed again finally.

I didn't sleep very well. A lot happened this weekend that I think you and I should talk about- that and everything that happened this past week as well.

I figured this conversation was gonna happened eventually

What are you doing after school?

I dont have anything planned that I can think of but are you sure you even wanna tell me anything I mean its not like I have any right to have a place in yours or finns lives

Quinn, don't be ridiculous, please. :) You should know so much better by now. Meet me at your house after school, if that's okay?

Quinn smiled at the emoticon, but more because she knew she hadn't messed up. She knew that she still had a chance to make everything work out in the end.

Yeahh of course :)

When Quinn pulled into her driveway after school, she felt her breath catch in her throat as she recognized Rachel's little, blue car in front of her; the little gold star in the top right- hand of the back window caught the sunlight and sparkled brightly.

As she stepped out of her own car, Rachel copied her actions. Quinn smiled as the petite girl walked toward her.

"I'm surprised you even know where I live," Quinn felt like she was going to cry, just happy that Rachel was standing there.

That night, Rachel told her that she had broken things off with Finn, that Quinn was right, and she shouldn't have to give up her dreams for a boy.

"I… I really felt something with you the other day, Quinn," Rachel talked slowly, as if trying to find the right words in her vocabulary.

"…You did?" Quinn began to smile, only slightly afraid that she was going to look stupid in front of the smaller girl.

"Yes," Rachel blushed. "And then after your little display with Finn at school, I only began to feel more and more like… There's something here?" She looked up into Quinn's eyes. "Between us?"

"Something more…?" Quinn couldn't believe Rachel Berry was saying these things to her, but then again… She still couldn't believe that she had any feelings for Rachel Berry.

They spent the night just talking, cuddled together on Quinn's bed. They talked about everything, from the very beginning until then, only breaking pace every now and then for a kiss.

"Come to New York with me, Quinn." Rachel sat up suddenly, excited about her idea. "It'll be just you, me, Kurt, and Blaine."

Quinn smiled at the brunette's enthusiasm and the idea itself. "I'd love to."

Quinn wasn't sure now how it had ended up being the original four plus Puck in the end, but sitting in front of him now, unloading everything that she had been bottling up, she was thankful that that's what it had turned into.

"So, you and Berry started dating? I knew that much from the trip up here," Puck smiled, but it soon disappeared as his brow furrowed. "Then… What happened? You guys seemed so happy."

"She asked to come visit me at work one day…" Quinn smiled, another tear falling from her eye.

"Well, so? That's not that big of a deal, right? I mean, yeah, I've seen that outfit you gotta wear, but I don't see what the big deal about it is."

"I didn't tell her where I worked… Do you remember when Finn visited?" Quinn sighed. "The first night he was here… He went to a bar, a club really. For… gentlemen?"

"Finn went to a boobie bar?" Puck chuckled. "Man, I haven't even gone to one of those yet, but man… I would so go if I wouldn't have cameras all on me for going to see a few strippers." He stopped again. "But what does that….?"

"He told Rachel who he saw there… And took her the next night… To see me on stage."

There was silence for a minute. Puck's mouth fell open a little bit and his hand had fallen away from her knee. She lowered her eyes to her hands which were folded in her lap.

"I see…" He sat back.

"We fought." She began to cry more fiercely now. "She said I was terrible for showing my body off to a bunch of random people. I tried to explain it was because I was broke, but she…"

She never understood. Finn made it seem like Quinn was only hiding it from Rachel, and that she was doing it because that's the kind of girl she was. He had said that she didn't have any drama now that they were all out of high school, and she needed to feel that rush of everyone still wanting her for her body, that she had reverted back to saying of "It's all about the teasing, not about the pleasing".

Quinn had cried all night, poured her heart out to Rachel, but she just didn't understand. Rachel said that she had been noticing the way that Quinn was subtly changing even in everyday things. Rachel screamed that Quinn was becoming a totally different person, and that out of everyone, she thought that New York wouldn't change Quinn. But it had.

Quinn couldn't take the judging anymore. "You don't like the person I've become? I became what I had to so I could just survive in this crazy place! Why can't you of all people see that?" Rachel had just shaken her head. "You know what, we're through Rachel. I thought you were different."

"So, you're just running away? Just like that?"

"I guess I am."

And with that, Quinn lost the most important thing in her life, the only reason why she was here, the only reason she had even gotten the job. Why did Rachel not get it? Why did she not see how this could be a good thing? Maybe because it wasn't…? But how else could she make it in this city? To make it, you need people and to get to people, you need money.

Of course, she didn't want to lose Rachel. Of course, she wished as soon as she said it that she could take it back. But it was done. Rachel left that night, and they hadn't talked again since.

She sighed. "And that brings us to now." Quinn looked back up at Puck, wiping her tears away with her fingertips.

He sighed. "Well, this might sound strange, but I totally get it, Quinn."

"…You do?" She let out an exasperated laugh. "You're the first to say so."

"Well, yeah. I get it. I mean," He leaned forward in his seat," when I first got up here, I was lost- didn't have a clue what to do. So, I started out by selling myself to some sexy ladies I met on the street." He grinned.

"You were a prostitute?" Quinn didn't see why she was so surprised. This sounded exactly like something Puck would do.

"Yup, for a little while at least. Then I decided to try my hand at music, figured I could use my glee past for something." He shrugged, "Took $500 every time I wanted to play at a club, and another $200 every time I tried to get someone listen to my demo. Got ripped off a whole lot… But eventually, I slept with the right woman." He winked, "Turns out, she's my new manager."

"Wow…" Quinn sat back in her chair.

"Gotta do what it takes," He shrugged again.


End file.
